Why is Mohammed laughing so?...

...he has spotted a spelling mistake in Mr NeatPaint's brilliant new brochure and wants to know if you'll spot it too!! Mr NeatPaint has asked Mohammed to give all distributors a natty little brief case with brochures to distribute to all those shopfitters, builders, interior designers etc etc and anyone else in need of a coat of paint and a darned good denibbing. So beware distributors: heads down, Mohammed is on his way and his next target might be you!

 On first glancing at Mr NeatPaint's brochure...

...you might think Mr NeatPaint is trying to sell you a packet of carrots. But no! He is by a wonderful feat of transmogrification telling you ever so subtly that his panels, painted, denibbed and glamourised are as convenient and sensible as a package of prepared carrots but not as tasty. Come to think of it, swallow the carrots and you will see Mr NeatPaint's panels night and day.

• He has a new customer who has reversed his manufacturing process to profit from Mr NeatPaint's virtue. This reversal means that the end-user cabinet maker cuts and shapes his components from full sized sheets of MDF after Mr NeatPaint has primed and denibbed them. The end-user takes the whole sheets and cuts, drills and routs them into components and applies the final coat of paint.
  There must be plenty of similar end-users who are fed up with priming and denibbing and long to be rescued by Mr NeatPaint. Mr NeatPaint already primes most of his Neatmatch which the customer finishes to a final colour. And it won't be long before he'll be denibbing most of his output too. When you have seen, or still better stroked (grown men can assume strange facial expressions when doing this) you too will want his denibbed product.
   
• Mr NeatPaint is staining locker doors, such as are seen in gyms. First he stains (water based of course), next he applies lacquer (water based of course) then he denibs and finally, he relacquers. Four courses and still he's slim. And what a result! The lacquer finish is rock hard and has a 30% sheen.
  

Mr Bendy MDF has given up the Birch...

...part of Neatflex Birch because he can't find any which pleases him. He has substituted it with Poplar and calls it Neatflex Ply and his customers seem pleased. It does all the same things and is just the ticket for fabricating curved structures which need oomph because it is 18 mm thick. He still makes Neatflex PIP which is also 18 mm thick and blessed by the water proofness of the PIP. This is the one to use for making curved shuttering when building a curved wall or pillar of concrete.

A July Saint: St Swithin...

...or Saint Swithun on July 15th. Born in the 9th century in the reign of King Egbert of Wessex he was Bishop of Winchester and is famous for his relationship with rain. He asked to be buried outside his cathedral so that the "sweet rain of heaven" would fall on his grave and so it did. One hundred years later some busybody decided that he should be disinterred and reburied in the cathedral. At this point the sweet rain of Heaven became so torrential and prolonged that the ceremony was abandoned for 40 days! This rain was thought to indicate St Swithun's disapproval of these early grave robbers.

St Swithun's day if thou dost rain
For forty days it will remain
St Swithun's day if thou be fair
For forty days 'twill na mair

But he didn't remain in one piece, unlike a clutch of broken eggs which he repaired miraculously: some say his head is in Canterbury Cathedral and one arm in Peterborough Abbey (Cathedral).